Depth-Oriented Couples Therapy in California
Many couples begin couples therapy not because they’ve stopped caring, but because the same conflict keeps repeating.
You may start wondering:
• Why does this always happen?
• Why can’t we talk about this without it turning into a fight?
• Why does my partner react this way?
Often, the real issue isn’t one person. It’s the relationship pattern forming between you.
Depth-oriented couples therapy helps partners understand and interrupt the patterns driving recurring conflict so the relationship can begin to change from the inside out.
Seeing and Interrupting the Pattern
Most couples know what they’re fighting about. Fewer understand the pattern driving it.
In session we slow the interaction down and track what is happening beneath the argument:
• attachment reactions
• emotional triggers
• nervous system responses
• unconscious relational roles
As these dynamics become visible, we begin interrupting the pattern in real time. Instead of repeating the cycle, partners learn to recognize it earlier and respond differently.
Over time this creates:
• more emotional safety
• clearer communication
• greater shared responsibility
• the ability to repair conflict rather than repeat it
Our Approach
This work is grounded in relational depth therapy, exploring the unconscious patterns shaping how partners respond to one another in moments of conflict. Our process also draws from Attachment-Based Couples Therapy and Gottman Couples Therapy, helping couples understand their emotional reactions while building the skills needed for repair and reconnection.
Instead of just focusing on communication strategies, the goal is to recognize and interrupt the relational pattern itself.
- Depth-oriented psychotherapy (unconsious patterns)
- Attachment-Based Couples Therapy (emotonal understanding)
- Gottman Couples Therapy (practical tools)
Rather than assigning blame, we focus on helping both partners understand that the real issue is often the relationship pattern forming between you.
From there, the relationship becomes a place where repair and growth are possible.
Who This Work Is For
Depth-oriented couples therapy is often a good fit for partners who:
- find themselves repeating the same conflict
- feel tension rises faster than they can slow it down
- care deeply about the relationship but feel exhausted by the pattern
- are willing to examine their own triggers, not just their partner’s
- want more than communication tips or surface-level solutions
You don’t have to agree on everything but this work does require a willingness to slow down and look honestly at what is happening between you.
What Happens in Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is not about deciding who is right or wrong. It’s about understanding the pattern that forms between you. In sessions, we slow the interaction down and look closely at what is happening beneath the conflict. As you talk through real moments from your relationship, we track the emotional reactions, attachment responses, and unconscious dynamics shaping the conversation.
When the familiar pattern begins to appear, we pause and examine it together.
This allows both partners to see the dynamic more clearly and begin responding differently in the moment rather than repeating the same cycle. Over time, couples begin to recognize the pattern earlier, communicate with greater awareness, and repair conflict without falling into the same argument again.
The goal is not perfect communication. The goal is learning how to stay present with each other even when things feel difficult.
A General Structure for the Work
While every relationship is unique, couples therapy often unfolds in three phases, timing is general depending on how deep the patterns are of the couple.
Phase 1: Understanding the Pattern (First 4 Sessions)
The first several sessions focus on mapping the relational dynamic between you. Together we explore recurring conflicts, attachment responses, emotional triggers, and the unconscious roles that shape how you interact. This stage builds a shared understanding of the pattern that keeps taking over.
Phase 2: Interrupting the Pattern (Weeks 5–12)
As the pattern becomes clearer, we begin practicing new ways of responding when it appears. Couples learn how to recognize the cycle earlier, slow reactions down, and respond with more awareness and emotional responsibility.
Phase 3: Integration and Maintenance (Beyond 12 Weeks)
As new responses become more familiar, sessions may shift toward integration and maintenance. Some couples continue periodically to support ongoing growth, strengthen communication, and navigate new challenges as they arise.
***Couples therapy works best when both partners are willing to look honestly at the pattern between them, not just the behavior of the other person.
Investment
Couples Therapy
$197: 60-minute session (weekly)
$225: 60-minute session (bi-weekly or monthly maintenance sessions)
Couples therapy typically begins with weekly sessions, especially in the early stages of the work. Meeting consistently allows us to recognize and interrupt relational patterns while they are still active. As the relationship stabilizes, some couples transition to bi-weekly or monthly maintenance sessions to support continued growth.
Individual Relational Therapy
$167: 45-minute session (weekly)
$175: 45-minute session (bi-weekly or monthly maintenance sessions)
Many couples begin with individual relational therapy when one partner wants to start examining their own triggers, attachment patterns, and relational roles. As clarity grows in one partner, the dynamic between you often begins to shift.
Insurance & Out-of-Network Benefits
Hecate Healers is an out-of-network practice. However, many insurance plans reimburse 50–60% of the session fee for out-of-network psychotherapy after your deductible has been met.
To make this process easier, we partner with Thrizer, a service that helps submit claims and simplify reimbursement.
You can check your out-of-network benefits below to see whether your plan may cover a portion of the session fee.
Begin With a Connection Call
Couples therapy works best when both partners feel comfortable with the process.
A brief 15-minute connection call gives us a chance to discuss what’s happening, answer questions about the work, and determine whether this approach feels like the right fit.
